A new mother needed help taking care of her newborn when she returned to work. She asked her 64-year-old mother to babysit her child, but when she asked to be compensated, the daughter refused.
A female Redditor opened up about a dilemma she was facing with her mother. The woman explained that she had just given birth to her child and needed help caring for her newborn as she was returning to work.
The first person that she believed would be perfect for the job was her mother, a 64-year-old woman who had been a homemaker since 1992. However, her mother was not keen on a full-time babysitting job.
The grandmother reasoned that she was too old and had already raised her children. She also told her daughter that she should have considered staying home if she wanted to have a baby.
The older woman said that she and her husband agreed that she would stay home and take care of the kids while he worked and provided for the family and that if they could do it, then her daughter and partner could find a way to build a “traditional” family.
As much as the 29-year-old could have considered these options, she explained that they had just survived the pandemic, which took a toll on their finances. In addition to the struggling economy, the woman gave a breakdown of her monthly income and accumulated debt.
She said, “I make $55k/yr, but have $39k in student loans + $20k in other debt (credit card, car loan, medical debt on credit). My partner makes about $36k/yr and has $5k in credit card debt.”
Seeing that the Redditor was the highest-earning member and had large amounts of debt, she could not afford not to go back to work. Additionally, the newly expanded family lived in a small one-bedroom apartment and planned to save up and move to a bigger place once the baby got bigger.
Therefore, every cent counted for the new mother. However, the grandmother did not agree to babysit her child without any compensation. She asked to be paid $20/hr, including late fees should the parents pick up the child late, a car seat, and a stroller, and to be compensated for driving the child back to her daughter’s house because babysitting from their apartment was not an option.
According to the new mom, her mother lived 15 minutes away and had only been to her apartment once in the five years she and her partner have lived there. But the grandmother had personal reasons for not stepping foot in their home.
The daughter found her mother’s request unreasonable, especially because she would have to invest in another car seat and stroller. She continued to make her point and wrote, “I want to save money to bring down our debt, and I don’t want to pay her as much nor invest as much in double everything as it will spiral into more debt for me and my partner.”
What seemed to be an easy solution to her problem ended up causing conflict between her and her mother. After her mother laid out her terms, it looked like taking her newborn to an infant care center would be convenient and cheaper for her and her partner.
Still, the Original Poster (OP) turned to other Reddit users to ask if she was wrong for not wanting to pay her mother for her babysitting duties. “She does not do anything besides watch TV and cook meals,” added OP.
The Redditor’s story was not well received. Other users were just as harsh as her mother and told her she should not have had children if she could not afford to take care of them. The commenter added that the woman should have discussed this arrangement with her mother during the pregnancy since she knew she would need to return to work.
More people shared the same sentiments and thought the Reddior was rude for saying her mother did nothing besides watching TV and cooking. Netizens emphasized that the older woman was retired and had the right to refuse her offer because child care was a demanding job.
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byu/erika_urrrika from discussion
inAmItheAsshole
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byu/erika_urrrika from discussion
inAmItheAsshole
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byu/erika_urrrika from discussion
inAmItheAsshole
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byu/erika_urrrika from discussion
inAmItheAsshole
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byu/erika_urrrika from discussion
inAmItheAsshole
Commenters added that the older woman was correct to point out that she had raised her children. This meant she could offer occasional babysitting out of the kindness of the heart. So, the whole story made the Redditor sound entitled to the readers.
